For the past couple of days, I have really been reflecting on who I am. For years, I had been exactly who everyone else said I was, who they needed, and who they wanted me to be. I was "true" to everyone else, but me!


It wasn't until my soul was depleted and I realized that in me being their "everything", I was nothing to me. I had become so broken in my spirit, my heart was torn, my mind was confused, and my actions were out of wack. I had lost myself to everyone else.

I had become silently depressed and I felt like a spiritual robot. I was "faking the funk", and I didn't know who I was anymore. No one knew I was depressed, no one knew that I cried everyday, no one knew that I, Vanetia Fahie, had completely lost herself.

I still had to fulfill my duties to everyone, or they would know. I still had to be the "mother" I was supposed to be. I still had to be the "girlfriend" I was supposed to be. I still had to be the " sister, friend, mentor, and don't forget the employee", I was supposed to be. On the outside, I was complete, I was the bomb.com, but on the inside, I was lost, I was broker, I had no clue as to who I was or what my purpose in life was.

In the mist of my pain, in the mist of my tears, in the mist my failing life, God spoke to me. I just had to be silent for just enough time to hear his voice. He said, "My child, just DO YOU! Observe your own uniqueness, discover the gift that I have impregnated you with." He said,  "You will have to endure the birth cycle and the labor pains, until your baby is born."

So I say to you, embrace the test, so you have a testimony.  

Back then I didn't understand, so I began to meditate on the words I had heard, and as time went on, he said, "DO YOU, Do Observe Your Own Uniqueness!!!"

You can't be anything to anyone else, if you can't "just be" to yourself.

You have to love every bit of you, big or small and walk in God's grace.  Each and everyone of us was created in God's image and with a purpose to uplift his kingdom. We all have our own uniqueness, that no one else can take away.

It took me a long time to understand that I could have and be anything my heart desired.  It took me a long time to understand the promises of our Father and how to stand on them in my weakest hour.  I had to learn to lean on him and be patient, and how to "just be" to me.